Scorpion
by Lok
Summary: Zaeed is one very happy merc: his mission was a success, he's got his pay... and then Mordin rocks his world. Rated M for Manly. And Zaeed's potty mouth.


_Usual legal stuff: Bioware owns everything that actually matters._

* * *

I've seen a lot in my years as a merc. I won't bore you with the details, but I will say this; don't underestimate those fucking Hanar. When Cerberus recruited me for this mission I half didn't expect to survive. And yet here I am, sitting here like one of those overly-emotional poofter types by Shepard's bed, like her little god-damned puppy, waiting for her to wake up. So I can talk to her.

I hold my head in my hands and mutter "Jesus Bloody Christ..." to myself again.

I look up and around the room of the medbay, vaguely worrying in a detached way if anyone saw me do it again. Chakwas hasn't noticed; I doubt anything short of getting kidnapped by the Collectors again would get her attention honestly. She's been in her chair with that stupid gormless look of amazement that the entire crew and half the ground team have, trying to write her reports on the crew I guess. She hasn't touched the keyboard for... I check the time. Then blink.

"Fuck me sideways..." I murmur to myself. We've been sitting here for over 40 minutes and not done a single ruddy thing. I've been here, in the medbay, next to Shepard, waiting for the sedatives to wear off on my own, except for Chambers-she only buggered off from Shepard's side when Chakwas chased her out to get some sleep.

What's she doing in here? Ergh, nothing unusual. She's one of those suicidal vanguards; may have lost that massive fuck-off scar across her face she had after Akuze thanks to Cerberus but she's got new ones; and not the ones I saw her with on Omega either. Just a few bullet holes and a broken rib from that debris that landed on us when she, Garrus and Tali killed that... _thing_. I'm glad she blew it to hell. The Illusive Man with that sort of shit... I shake my head at the thought. I know his type. I think of Vido when I think of him. It'd end in tears. I know the others agree, even Lawson.

Still not really explained what the hell I'm doing here though have I, when everyone else is either shagging or getting drunk in the post battle joy or whatever, have I? I mean you're probably thinking 'What the hell are you doing here Zaeed, she let that Vido get away?'

Don't get me wrong, looking back I know she was right, I was-_am_-part of a team now, I can't pull shit like that anymore-doesn't change the fact she _let that little bastard get away_. When she was giving me that lecture with me flat on my arse, leg pinned by wreckage (and I'm perfectly aware of the irony, so shut the fuck up and let me carry on) and looking at the business end of her pistol... I had no idea why, but she made me think of my mother for some reason.

...fucking hell, I'm still bollocking this up. Bear with me, I'm still trying to get my head around it myself, you see. I accepted the contract because bloody_ everyone_ has heard of Commander Shepard. Not only am I getting paid a fucking ridiculous amount of creds to help Little Miss "I do the impossible", but I actually get to see what the fuss is about. It's not hero worship, get that out of your thick little skull right away. We all saw the vids after Saren's attack on the Citadel. I found it pretty hard to believe such a scrawny, innocent looking girl (despite those scars, especially that massive one) who's picture was all over the extranet was the one who stopped Sovereign. I wanted to see her in the flesh. Frankly, I wasn't impressed by what I saw; she was even scrawnier in the flesh; gaunt cheeks, arms and a neck that look like you could snap them easily, and only came up to my shoulder, and I'm not particularly big. Didn't bat an eye at me with that batarian though; she may have looked lost on the extranet vids under the glare of the media, but in reality she's got that look of someone who's seen far too much at too young an age. I suppose something like Akuze or Mindoir would do that to you. Besides, I've learnt to never underestimate people after that bloody Hanar.

So I join up with her and her merry band of misfits to be a Big Goddamned Hero and do a 'Suicide Mission'. Of course, Little Miss-Bloody-Perfect not only pulls it off, saves the whole crew, but manages to make sure non of us get our head's blown off by those Collectors. We go through the usual post mission crap, checks for poison and stuff, Tali and Garrus dragging Shepard off to medbay despite her bitching she needed to make sure everyone was fine (even if she was obviously having trouble standing, daft cow).A couple of hours later Mordin comes along and starts yammering away at me. The gist of it was along with all the usual checks, he'd done our DNA to see if it had been scrambled or something weird like that. I'd half tuned him out by that point, but what he said next got my attention, I can tell you. I fixed him with my good eye and flat out told him "If this is your idea of a joke Doc it's bollocks."

He showed me the data.

It wasn't.

I've been here waiting for Shepard to wake up ever since. She doesn't know apparently. I'm nervous. Hell, scared even. I don't know how she's going to react; I know Commander Shepard, not Rebekka Shepard. It's one thing knowing you might have one, but it's another knowing you do...

Commander Rebekka Shepard, the woman who... you should bloody well know what Shepard's done. The point is, sitting next to her on this crappy chair, now I know why she reminds me of mum. Her eyes are identical to my mum's. Hell, thinking about it she even _acts_ like I remember mum did sometimes. She should too; she's her _grand-daughter_. This scrawny little woman lying on one of the medbay's beds is my _daughter_. I have sired what can only really be called a force of nature.

I don't know if I should be proud or terrified.

-End

* * *

_Because Zaeed is just that Bloody Awesome, and Sherpard has to have got his (or in this case, her) Awesomeness from somewhere. I might do one with Kelly as the centre. I have a soft spot for the red-headed 'secretary', even if she has an implied edactic memory, reads your mail, and is stationed next to the galaxy map. _

_There are blatant plotholes but then again there's some within the universe. If my memory serves, Zaeed (according to ingame stuff) founded the Blue Suns when he was, er, 13. Not impossible but very unlikely. Then again, Zaeed is that Bloody Awesome..._

_I've been sitting on this for a while now, not publishing it despite Yuffie pre-reading it and everything. Also: holy crap, I got linked to in 4chan. And not by the nasty section(s). I won't say where or when, but to those of you where were there, yes, that person saying they were the author was me. To those of you where were hoping for an update for the Dragonage miniseries, sorry to dissapoint you, however console yourself with the knoledge that I am working on a next Final Installment. I mean, really, which Final Installment is this... number 3? If you're wondering about the title of the story and the chapter, I usually just end up referencing music I was listening to while typing it. This is one of those exceptions but I really cannot get the song out of my head.  
_


End file.
